Do I Fit In Any More?

Today I realized that I'm no longer in the "Link" with my family, as I'm sitting at the restaurant table with some of my family members I realize that everyone is talking but me. Their talking about the last couple of nights when they went out to a couple of bars & what happened at the last couple of family get togethers and I'm sitting there with absolutely nothing to say but this dum ass look on my face. So at this point I'm starting to wonder at what point did they forget about me & my family, I know I don't go to bars anymore but it would be nice if they was just ask me sometimes. I feel like since I have had my boys my family just don't consider me in anything anymore and now I feel like the only place I need to be is with my kids & wife. See the thing is I really don't go to all the family functions anymore because its sometimes not worth the hassle, like I have to do a lot to get me and the boys out of the house not to mention all the stuff I have to bring to accommodate the little one who is walking and is terror on wheels he don't stop for nothing. So anyway I have to weigh the options of if its beneficial for us to go or just a hassle. You see my wife works crazy hours not no more than 40 but the start time is odd times of the day which makes it hard for her to join us all the time and just about everything my family plans is times & days she can't come so that means I have to take our children. Sometimes I feel like maybe I cause this myself by not attending the family functions or is my family just not sensitive or understanding to my family situation. They look at it as been just two boys but picture this..... Ok we wake up to get dress for the event my 5 year old will get dress like he suppose to but my 1 year old he hates clothes and shoes and etc. So he FIGHTS, that's all done now its gathering his diaper bag for all the things he needs and carrying that heavy ass bag around, then once we finally get there I unload the kids out of our big ass truck carrying everything including my kids because the little one still walks real slow & can't do steps yet. No one helps to unload the kids of course we get in the house and they have glass everywhere like glass tables, figuring's everything glass & us moms knows that's just stuff waiting for a new beginner to knock over and pull down then there's steps and as you can see where this is going its like a marathon for me & I didn't even say what the oldest do so as you can see that's why I don't show up to a lot of family gatherings. So do you think that my family is inconsiderate and leaving me out of things or am I ostracizing myself? I feel like it is directed towards my boys as well and don't get me wrong my boys are'nt bad kids my oldest listen to other people better than he listen to us so thats not it just in case you were wondering, When I was with my mom & sister I was feeling like I'm sitting at a table of people whom don't know me & I don't know them.

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Blogger Super Mom said...

Yea, I know how you feel. Been happening to me for years, and I like to THINK it is because I'm the only family member that doesn't live around the corner. I live about 15-20 minutes from my family but it seems I get left out of a lot of lunches, dinners, movie watching, weekend visits, etc. No one really visits me and it gets lonely.

But it also sounds like your family members are not that considerate of your children. Glass and other breakables should be moved up for any children under 4-5. Even the well behaved kids get curious - and glass things are heavy and slippery to tiny hands and can get broke WAY to easy. And then they make YOU feel guilty for their stupidity. Blah.

Maybe next time offer to come over t he night before and help move the "questionable" items up higher. Bring a bottle of wine, and make it a fun event, while you are at it! And maybe that will help you catch up on a little gossip too. :)

Also, I noticed that over the years I got really bad about waiting around for people to call me to invite me to do something. I decided this year I would take matters into my own hands and start calling THEM! So far (only 2 things) no one has turned me down and I have 2 things to look forward in t he next couple weeks!

Good luck and happy new year!

January 3, 2009 at 7:49 AM  
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January 16, 2009 at 11:56 PM  

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